For Match’s 13th annual Singles in America study, we asked all the questions about self-worth, sex, relationships, and love — and over 5000 singles across the country answered in detail. 

Keep reading to explore the ever-evolving terrain of today’s dating landscape, including what’s hot (shared values, alts to monogamy, aid from AI), what’s not (loneliness, political misalignment, too much therapy speak), and why self care, straightforwardness, and curiosity have never been hotter.

In 2023, single folks aren’t just looking for love — they’re seeking true partnerships that go the distance. This quest involves a holistic approach involving personal growth, clear communication, and drawing on collective wisdom from therapists, friends, influencers, and even exes. The search is on, and it’s healthier than ever.

Singles agree the top 3 most important factors in a healthy relationship are:

An impressive 68% of singles are confident in their ability to effectively communicate their needs in a relationship, a skill that strengthens with age:

• 59%Gen Z
• 68%Millennials
• 71%Boomers
• 68%Gen X

• 60% think setting aside quality time shows your intent.
• 55% gauge romantic interest through signals that you’ve paid clear attention (a great reminder to brush up on those active listening skills).
• 52% agree that willingness to talk about your feelings is a clear sign of wanting commitment.

These are their top red flags:

• 45% Poor communication
• 42% Lack of trust
• 38% Cheating/Infidelity
• 36% Emotional immaturity

From therapy and exercise to burnout recovery, singles are more focused than ever on self betterment for the sake of themselves — and their future relationships.

Instead, money was the biggest stressor for singles this year — specifically, 

• 21%The economy
• 21%Inflation
• 24%Personal day-to-day finances

• 41% choose something active, like exercising.
• 35% escape into entertainment like Netflix or video games.
• 27% get outdoors into nature.
• 26% try to make a connection through calls or texts.
• 17% take medication to regulate their depression or anxiety.

Compared to last year, more people are open to therapy: 57% were interested in attending a therapy session or had already done so, compared to 48% in 2022.

Reaching out for help is always hard, but singles (particularly, young singles and online and active daters) were twice as likely to ask for help and outside perspectives (vs. offline/inactive daters). The top advice-givers for single folks:

Friends: 65%
Family: 46%
Therapist: 26%
An ex partner: 10% (that’s what we call resourceful)

And sometimes, a parasocial POV is the most useful: 23% of Gen Z turn to influencers and content creators for relationship intel (vs. 19% Millennials, 10% Gen X, 11% Boomers).

Simply defined, loneliness is the feeling of being disconnected, isolated, or alone — sometimes even in the presence of others. And recent Gallup polls show that a quarter of Americans are lonely. However, 1 in 5 young singles actually feel that loneliness positively impacts their dating life, viewing dating as a means to more human connection. If that’s not resilience, we don’t know what is.

On a typical day, 39% of singles feel lonely, including 58% of Gen Z singles. And of those who typically feel lonely, 25% reported that this is a chronic or lifelong issue. Similarly, 25% of singles feel that they are lonelier than their peers. 

When it comes to third wheeling, 16% of singles say spending time with couples makes them feel more lonely.

And though loneliness is widespread, singles are also seeing brighter skies ahead:
Nearly 1 in 5 young singles (19%) feel that loneliness has increased their drive to date. And 55% of these young singles feel excited about dating.

It’s official: Artificial intelligence has entered the chat, and it’s not going anywhere. Over the past year, 6% of singles have already played around with this new technology to buoy their dating life. The new frontier isn’t coming — it’s already here.

When it comes to AI use in dating, singles feel both anxious and curious, with an eye toward the future. Young singles are most apt to welcome new tech into their dating routines, with 1 in 4 Gen Z and Millennial singles expressing excitement over AI.

27% of online daters (of all generations) feel optimistic about using AI, suggesting that their trust in tech extends beyond traditional desktop and app methods. And unsurprisingly, 63% of Gen Z singles have used AI in some capacity, dating or otherwise.

• 46%

  say it’s a deal breaker if a potential match uses AI to alter their image.

• 39%

  say it’s a deal breaker if a potential match uses AI in all conversations. 

• 26%

  say it’s a deal breaker if a potential match uses AI to help them write the first message.

• 29%

  say nothing is a dealbreaker when it comes to using AI in dating. This feeling is most prevalent in older singles (35% Boomers, 33% Gen X, 25% Millennials, 18% Gen Z) which highlights an interesting generational openness around new tech.

• 23% would use an AI chatbot assistant.
• 22% of singles would go on a first date if an AI bot rates them a good match.

⅓ of singles think AI is capable of assessing compatibility.

Let’s talk about sex, baby. No, but let’s really. Daters today recognize that sexuality is an integral part of our lives, and a huge part of self care and relationship-building alike. They opened up about everything, from the cascading effects of poor sex education to the desire for more variety and non-normative experiences in their sex lives.

Regardless of age and identities, 40% of singles report that more comprehensive sex education in their younger years (through school, family, friends, etc.) would have led them to more sexual confidence in adulthood, 30% would have learned how to date more effectively and 44% say they would have had healthier and better relationships now.

While singles covered basic concepts in sex ed like abstinence (77%), puberty (89%), reproduction (91%), testing/preventing STIs (84%) and pregnancies (89%), they also identified areas where they didn’t receive any education at all:

• 26%
  Sexual orientation
• 38%
  Gender identity
• 31%
  How to give and ask for consent
• 39%
  How to talk about sexual desires with a partner
• 35%
  What their first sexual experience would feel like

Singles are continuing to redefine the role of sex in their lives, valuing varied sexual experiences while also taking a careful approach to intimacy.

While some singles feel alienated from the pace of dating and sex, the truth is that many are taking things slow:

22% of singles said they would prefer sex 2-3 times a week.

And when it comes to routine, vanilla sex versus mixing it up, folks are split:

By date #3, singles are ready to get physical. What exactly that means is, of course, up to interpretation:

• 60% are open to a makeout session.
• 43% are open to discussing sexual likes and dislikes.
• 36% are open to getting naked, touching, oral sex, and/or intercourse. 

Singles are becoming more sexually empowered, with 63% reporting that they feel comfortable asking a partner for what they want during sex. And over a third of singles report that non-traditional sexual experiences (everything from same-gender sex and kink to non-monogamy) have increased their sexual confidence.

Gen Z is leading the charge in creating new norms for sexual experience and identities, with 4 in 10 (42%) indicating an interest in same-gender sexual experiences.

And while 49% of singles indicate monogamy is their ideal sexual relationship structure, that means half (!) of single Americans are interested in sexual relationships with non-traditional structures.

Simply defined, consensual non-monogamy is “an umbrella term for relationships in which all partners give explicit consent to engage in romantic, intimate, and/or sexual relationships with multiple people.” (APA).

These singles experienced many relationship structures under the non-monog umbrella, including polyamory (11%), open relationships (13%), being monogamish (21%), swinging (12%), and more.

When asked what they thought about non-monogamy, singles said:

• 37% think non-monogamous people are looking for casual sex.
• 24% think non-monogamous people are not happy in their relationship.

Non-monogamy doesn’t hurt the future of monogamy — 16% of those who tried non-monogamy said that they would want another non-monogamous relationship.

And, 84% said it did not make it harder to be monogamous again in the future.

Our youngest adult singles, ages 18-26, are officially out there and feeling all the pressures of the world today. As they explore dating, they’re prioritizing self care and openness — with a sprinkling of surprising traditionalism too.

1 in 3 Gen Z singles moved in the last year, leaning into the nomadic norms spurred from the pandemic.

1 in 5 Gen Z singles have questioned their gender identity (compared to just 9% of singles overall).

They’re open to romantic connections with all kinds of people: 

• 57% would date someone who was a different race/ethnicity.
• 41% would date someone who is bisexual.
• 32% would date someone who is pansexual.
• 31% would date someone who had a different religion.
• 30% would date someone who is a single parent.
• 26% would date someone who is non-binary.
• 25% would date someone who is transgender.

A whopping 20% of the Gen Z single population does not plan to vote in the 2024 presidential election (vs. 18% of Millennials, 15% Gen X, and 7% of Boomers). 

• 43% of Gen Z daters have started a relationship with someone they met on an online or digital platform, like video games, online forums, or on social media.
• 18% of Gen Z singles said that overuse of tech devices had a negative impact on their previous relationship.

With last year’s overturning of Roe v. Wade came new fears for many Americans around access to abortion.

• 15% of active daters under 50 are now afraid of getting pregnant or getting someone else pregnant.
• 11% are nervous or anxious during sex.
• 18% ask partners to use condoms more often.
• 14% discuss contraception earlier in the relationship.
• 12% discuss abortion opinions earlier than before.
• 14% report having less casual sex now and/or less sex overall.
• 10% have sex in other ways to prevent pregnancy (like non-penetrative sex).

• 60% are pro-choice
• 23% are pro-life

30% of Democratic singles said a candidate’s abortion views would completely determine how they vote (vs. 20% of Republican singles).

And a surprising 14% of singles don’t plan to vote in the 2024 election.

Despite recent threats to bodily autonomy, economic downturn, climate change, and more, 64% of young singles want kids. And 50% of young singles say they want to be a parent within the next 3 years. Plus, 45% of singles say up to 2 years is long enough of a relationship to have children.

• 29% would be open to adopting a child not biologically related to themselves.
• 19% would be open to having a child via surrogate and freezing their own or their partner’s eggs.
• 17% would be open to freezing their own eggs or their partner’s sperm.
• 10% would be open to adopting the embryos of other families.
• 31%
  • of singles would be open to having a child on their own, without a committed relationship.
  • Men (32%) are equally as likely as women (30%) to say so.
  • Online daters are more likely to say so: 40% vs. 20% of offline daters.

Today’s singles are a total mixed bag of priorities and dating goals — but the overarching themes center around de-stressing and self betterment, for themselves and future relationships alike.

• 37% of singles say they’re ready to find a long-term committed relationship.
• In the last year, 10% of singles moved: to start a new job, start school, live closer to family or live somewhere cheaper.
• 12% of singles never use social media.
• 1 in 3 singles never drink, and 50% of all singles say a non-alcoholic drink is their first-date drink order.

33% want to meet a partner within the next few months.

What they want in a partner:

• 82% want someone who is emotionally mature.
• 55% want someone who is totally sober.
• 27% want someone who smokes marijuana weekly.

• 25% of singles met their last first date online (vs. 20% through a friend).
• Young singles are the most active on dating apps at 58% (vs. 38% of singles overall).
• 36% of singles had seriously dated someone they met online, including 46% of Gen Z and 51% of Millennials.
• 41% would rather learn about you on your profile vs. learn about the social issues you support.

Online daters are twice as likely than offline daters to want someone who wants kids.

online daters are open to someone in a long distance relationship.

Singles’ top choices were as follows, all in the name of transparency and compatibility: Whether they have kids (72%), whether they’re divorced/separated (65%), and whether they drink alcohol (59%).

And when it comes to DTR (“define the relationship”) talks, singles want to cover every base, including (but not limited to):

Debt, close relationships with family, criminal records, chronic health issues, anxiety and depression, virginity, cheating history, and if you see a therapist. We love thoroughness!

While BDE is trending in the culture, reserved and composed self-assurance is the most attractive type of confidence (32% women and 31% of men agree). Plus, 30% of singles say that their partner’s confidence significantly influences their attraction.

64% have a monthly budget, and of those who don’t:

But when it comes to future partners, 73% of singles prioritize a person's financial stability.